Questions to Ask Parents: Conversations That Strengthen Your Bond

Article Snapshot

• Questions about their childhood and early life
• Questions about their relationship and marriage
• Questions about raising you and your siblings
• Questions about their career and life challenges
• Questions about values, wisdom, and what they hope for you
• Tips for turning a single conversation into an ongoing practice

You've known your parents your whole life, yet there are likely entire chapters of their story you've never heard. The years before you were born. The struggles they didn't share. The dreams they set aside. The lessons they learned the hard way.

These questions help you discover those untold stories. For a comprehensive collection covering grandparents, siblings, and extended family, see our questions to ask family members guide.

Questions About Their Childhood

Understanding where your parents came from helps you understand who they became and why they raised you the way they did.

• Where did you grow up, and what was it like there?
• What is your earliest memory?
• Who was your best friend growing up?
• What did you dream of becoming when you were young?
• What was your relationship like with your parents?
• What did you get in trouble for as a kid?
• What was school like for you?
• What childhood lesson has stayed with you?
• Who was your childhood hero?
• What's a memory from your childhood that still makes you laugh?

Questions About Their Relationship

The story of how your parents found each other is the origin story of your family.

• How did you meet mom/dad? What was your first impression?
• When did you know this was the person you wanted to marry?
• What was your wedding day like?
• What has been the key to maintaining a strong relationship?
• What challenges have you faced together, and how did you overcome them?
• How do you handle disagreements?
• What's a memorable moment from your marriage that stands out?
• How have your views on love and marriage evolved over the years?
• What advice would you give to newlyweds?
• What do you most appreciate about your partner?

Questions About Raising You

These questions reveal the parent's perspective on the years you only remember as a child.

• How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a parent?
• How did you choose my name?
• What do you remember about when I was born?
• What was I like as a baby? As a toddler? As a teenager?
• What was the most challenging phase I went through?
• What parenting approach did you take, and why?
• What's something I did that you pretended not to see?
• What was a typical day like when I was young?
• What family vacations or experiences stand out to you?
• What are you most proud of about me?
• What do you most hope for my future?

Questions About Their Career and Challenges

Your parents' professional lives and the obstacles they faced shaped the stability and values of your family.

• What was your first job?
• How did you choose your career path?
• What was the most difficult period of your working life?
• What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?
• How did becoming a parent change your career priorities?
• What was the biggest challenge you faced as a family?
• How did you manage to balance work and family?
• What kept you going during hard times?
• Is there anything you would do differently if you could go back?

Questions About Values and Wisdom

These questions invite your parents to share the perspective that years of experience have given them.

• What values did you try to instill in me?
• What's the most important lesson you've learned in life?
• What do you wish you had known at my age?
• How have your priorities changed over the years?
• What are you most grateful for?
• What gives your life meaning?
• What advice would you give me about marriage? About parenting? About career?
• How would you like to be remembered?
• What do you want me to know that you've never told me?

Tips for Having These Conversations

Pick the right moment. A quiet evening, a long car ride, a relaxed holiday visit. Avoid times when either of you is stressed or distracted.

Start with easy questions. Childhood memories and funny stories are good openers. Save deeper questions for when the conversation is flowing naturally.

Share your own thoughts too. This isn't an interview. When you share your own experiences and reflections, it becomes a real conversation.

Listen without judgment. They might share things that surprise you or that you see differently. Resist the urge to argue or correct. Just listen.

Consider recording. With permission, capture the conversation on your phone. Their voice telling these stories is something you'll treasure.

Make it a regular practice. One conversation won't cover everything. Return to these topics over time. Each visit can build on the last.

Why This Matters

Your parents won't always be around. The window for these conversations isn't infinite. Every question you ask now is a story preserved, a connection deepened, a memory you'll carry forward.

You might think you know your parents. These questions will show you how much more there is to discover.

For additional conversation starters for grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and other family members, explore our complete questions to ask family members collection.